Every day, you play multiple roles at home and in the organization in which you serve. If you’re like most people I know, you’ve adapted to the chaos and can usually change roles at the drop of a hat.
For some of you, that keeps life interesting and even exhilarating. For others, the whole mess just irks you.
For me, at any given time, I’m playing multiple roles simultaneously—and I love it. Well, at least most days.
In a single day, it’s not uncommon for me to move freely between visionary, creative, encourager, consultant, energizer, strategist, coordinator, problem-solver, thinker . . .
And the list goes on and on. I suspect that your world is much the same.
But here’s the problem. Those around you don’t really care what role you’re playing.
They just want whatever they want.
For your own mental and emotional health, you should pause and poke around a bit until you discover and can articulate in your head (if not for others) which roles you’re supposed to be playing at any given time.
You’ll not only minimize personal frustration but you’ll be more effective at fulfilling expectations.
20 Responses
January 18th, 2010 at 11:38 am
I think that it helps when you can switch off a role when you should be in another role. Example, I am always in the role of thinker, problem-solver, etc (yes, I even think about my clients’ sites when I’m not working on them)and some times I need to give myself a good hard jab and switch off and simply be, husband, friend and father.
Giving my full attention to my family and friends while I am with them allows me to give my full attention to my work when I have that particular hat on.
Thanks for sharing,
Karl
January 18th, 2010 at 12:19 pm
Thanks, Karl. Great reminder. I only wish I was better at following your advice! I appreciate your comments.
January 18th, 2010 at 12:24 pm
I like that saying that says you need to reduce the role to an elevator statement. You get on an elevator and someone asks you what you do. You need a statement you can give that is so short and memorable you can say before they reach the 2nd floor. A pastor might say, “I help people live the abundant life that Jesus promises us.”
Josh Hunt
Good Questions Have Groups Talking
http://www.joshhunt.com
January 18th, 2010 at 4:05 pm
I really needed this. This isn’t a bad or negative struggle at all, just a tough one in certain ways.
January 18th, 2010 at 4:23 pm
Great recommendation, Josh! In my experience, roles change often enough that this becomes very difficult. Good objective though!
BTW, thanks for the RTs.
January 18th, 2010 at 4:24 pm
Brandon, this is indeed a tough one. Especially if you get caught by an expectation to be something you’re not!
Thanks for the comments.
January 18th, 2010 at 9:17 pm
Hey, your “in a single day” hat wardrobe is quite similar to the ones I wear….glad to know I’m not in it alone and especially glad to know that what I miss, you probably won’t!
January 18th, 2010 at 10:36 pm
Thanks for your comments, Kissie. Yeah, that is probably very true! Grace and peace. Thanks for reading.
January 18th, 2010 at 11:38 pm
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January 19th, 2010 at 9:30 am
I agree – just don’t have the time :-)
January 19th, 2010 at 11:56 am
Very true. I think many of us play a “Jack of All Trades” — and sometimes that’s ok. But I think there is huge value in determining what drives us and holding fast to our calling.
- Vin
January 19th, 2010 at 7:17 pm
Great thoughts and a great reminder! Thanks!
January 19th, 2010 at 11:09 pm
I agree, Vin. I think the mojo kicks in when you get in that zone.
January 19th, 2010 at 11:10 pm
Thanks Kevin and Tom. I appreciate your comments!
January 20th, 2010 at 11:06 am
Right On Kerry! The challenge here, I suppose is to be true to one’s own mission. So often it seems that without vigilance, others will determine roles for which we were never intended.
January 20th, 2010 at 11:50 am
David,
Well said. For many, being courageous enough to express this is difficult. It’s hard to express hesitation about fulfilling a role you’re not comfortable with when you aren’t totally settled in who you are and who you aren’t. Thanks for the good comments.
January 23rd, 2010 at 11:03 am
You helped me with this because I was giving the other person the opportunity to share what role THEY want me to play in their lives when in most cases they dont know what role THEY play in their OWN lives….My role is to tell them what role I WILL play in their lives…thus, minimizing frustration and maximizing the partnership/relationship. WOW..Thank you so much for this..
January 23rd, 2010 at 11:07 am
Thanks Dream Coach. Great comments and objective! I appreciate you checking out the blog.
January 23rd, 2010 at 12:33 pm
I struggled with this very issue in the past, and at times in the future will probably still struggle. My Executive Pastor, who is in essence my boss, shared a link with me about multi-tasking. It suggested not to multi-task or to try and play multiple roles at the same time. It suggested something called “Chunking.” Basically, it’s the discipline of scheduling yourself only enough time to accomplish a certain task.
So if you are a vision person, give yourself a certain amount of time on a certain day to dream about your cause. That way when you go home, you can be husband/wife or father/mother without guilt. In my opinion, it has really allowed me to free myself up in these roles so that when I’m dad, I can just be dad. Or when I’m husband, I don’t have to be visionary, pastor, programmer all at the same time. I just get to be, husband. Here is the link to the article if anyone is interested.
http://management.about.com/od/yourself/a/chunking1106.htm
January 23rd, 2010 at 1:35 pm
Thanks for your comments, Stan. Great recommendation. Difficult too pull off, but well worth the try. Grateful that you took the time to share with us.
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